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I got commissions OPEN!!

Wull-golly-gee, did you catch that title?! Mm-mm! Goodness, all I can say is ABOUT TIME! XD

Going to be honest, though. I am quite nervous. It might not seem like much, but the process of opening commissions was challenging on a personal level. (Really, I think all of my problems are personal, but we'll save that for another time, hmm?) The very act of 'putting' myself out there, like jumping off the edge of the high dive, was more daunting than it should have been. The perfectionist in me kept finding things to fix or adjust. The pessimist in me kept drilling me with doubts, and the procrastinator...hah! Well, the procrastinator in me relished in the fact that the perfectionist was never happy. Meanwhile, the perfection was fueled by the pessimist. And all of this is just exhausting, so more often than not I'd throw it on the back burner.


The only issue with that (there are many, but we'll focus on one) is that I can't afford to keep tossing it on the back burner. I've got mouths to feed! Bills to be paid! Hookers to - oop,. never-mind. XD But, I'm sure you get the point. Heh heh.


In actuality, I cut my Day-Job hours significantly in order to give me time to get all of this done; website, assembling studio vibes, studying, etc. I didn't earn that much money to begin with but now that I'm there even less so is the amount I bring home. I also want to be able to have a job that is fun, rewarding, and allows me to get back to my creative side. A job that doesn't beat me down while only filling the pockets of others. With customers that are far more fun!! I want to be able to be my own boss!


Problem is, I don't know how to be my own boss. :S


Well, certainly not at first. Aaand I'm still learning! It's a process - a relearning process. For decades I've been trained to be a worker (a damn good one at that!) To do as directed and ask questions only pertaining to my task. I do not know how to be the boss - least as far as working for myself goes. I have to learn this. I have to ask myself thought-provoking questions and take action! I have asked many questions and gotten several answers. The latter, however, is where I've been dragging my feet.


NOT ANYMORE! Hah-haa-haa! It's exciting! I should have jumped off that edge sooner.




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